Criminalizing Black Mothers and The Privilege of Parental Choice ...

Criminalizing Black Mothers and The Privilege of Parental Choice

Posted by michelle mccrary on 11:36

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Over on Clutch, Stacia L. Brown chronicles the unimaginable story of Lacy who blogs over on The Simple Boxcar:??

Extended family has a penchant for sticking its nose into parents? choices. Whether it?s their decision to raise a vegan or vegetarian child, a resistance to perm, a neighborhood the family finds questionable, or language the child?s allowed to use, we?re used to aunts, grandmothers, and cousins chiming in. But sometimes, ?chiming in? crosses a line.

It certainly has for Lacy, whose latest blog entries and tweets have chronicled a series of police and social service visits prompted by her extended family?s complaints about her parenting. The complaints followed their discovery of her intent to roadschool. The situation escalated until her son was forcibly removed from the home for seven days, while an investigation into her mothering ensues. Despite a lack of evidence, save the dangerous accusations of three family members? who haven?t seen Lacy or her son in a year (and thus have not witnessed any of the misconduct alleged, during that time), Lacy?s custody was rather easily stripped.

Lacy is a single parent and work-at-home mom who home schools a son who is on the autism spectrum. She recently lost custody of her son and is currently praying that he will be returned to her home soon. Brown's piece in Clutch places Lacy's current plight within the context of all these intersecting realities and brings up a discussion about the many levels on which "unconventional black motherhood" is being policed. Pushing Brown's assertion further, it can also be aruged that black motherhood is under a particular kind of surveillance full stop. Black mothers are stereotyped and often criminalized in our country in a way that white mothers are not. Renee Martin of Womanist Musings, in response to a May 2009 Washington Post piece about the increase in single mothers said this of black motherhood:

One of the least valuable people on the planet is a black mother. Her gender and her race make her invisible unless an opportunity exists to exploit or marginalize her for gain. She is perceived as little more than a brood mare and often constructed as reproducing for the sake of either profiting from the system or trapping a man into subservience to her. Each generation she passes this legacy from her womb to her offspring and no matter her love or investment in her children, she is forever understood as lacking the wherewithal to raise responsible and successful citizens.

The societal forces at play in Renee's piece are dangerous because those stereotypical assumptions about black mothers which she outlines (especially single black mothers) become translated into policy. Policies that criminalize black mothers in unthinkable ways. Consider the case of Raquel Nelson whose son was killed by a drunken hit-and-run driver. According to Colorlines:

Nelson?s 4-year-old son A.J. was killed in front of her eyes last April. Nelson and her two kids had just gotten off at a bus stop across the street from their apartment in Marietta and the nearest crosswalk was more than a quarter mile away. So they, like other passengers that evening, jaywalked across the four-lane street. At the street?s divider, A.J. slipped out of Nelson?s hand and ran into the street. Nelson was chasing after him with her 2-year-old daughter in her arms when the family was hit by a driver with two prior drunk driving and hit-and-run convictions on his record. He was again drunk that night, and later served six months in jail for his crime.?

For her loss, the Cobb County solicitor general charged Nelson, who didn?t even own a car, with vehicular manslaughter. When an all-white jury found her guilty in July, news of Nelson?s conviction and the possible three-year prison sentence she faced led to a national outcry and an online campaign for leniency. At her sentencing a judge gave her community service instead of jail time, and in a rare move, offered Nelson a new trial. Last week, Nelson accepted.

You can add Kelley Williams-Bolar, Tanya McDowell, Jerri Gray and Marissa Alexander to the growing list of black mothers who have been criminalized for a variety of decisions they made as parents looking out for both the best interests of their children and by extension themselves. The perception of black mothers is not just about a frivolous optic, it is life-threatening. Families are being harmed every day by institutions across the country who believe that black women are not to be trusted as parents. Parental choice is clearly a privilege in the U.S. accorded to mothers down lines of?race, economics, sexuality, and class.

Contrast the stories of all the mothers listed above with that of Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby. ?Nesselroad-Slaby forgot that her two-year old daughter was alseep in the back of the family's SUV and the child subsequently died of heat-stoke after eight hours in the car which could have reached a maximum temperature of 140 degrees. The story was covered by Good Morning America in 2007:

Nesselroad-Slaby, an assistant principal at an Ohio middle school, was on her way to work last week when she said she realized it was too early to drop off her toddler, so she stopped to buy doughnuts for colleagues at school. Distracted by the change in her routine, she says she completely forgot her little girl was sleeping in the back of the car.
"She never wakes up. I just put her in the car seat and she never wakes up," Nesselroad-Slaby said in tears.?

Cecilia was in the back seat of the car when her mother backed up to the school entrance. It was all recorded by the school's surveillance camera. She unloaded the doughnuts and walked past Cecilia in the back seat on the driver's side a half dozen times.
She parked her car and went into the school around 7 a.m. Eight hours later, the toddler was discovered by someone in the parking lot. Teachers frantically called 911 and attempted CPR.?

The temperature outside hovered around 100 degrees all day. Police say it could have reached 140 degrees inside the car.
"I don't know how you go on having done this to one of your kids and ever forgive yourself," Nesselroad-Slaby said, her voice breaking as she slumped against the wall and answered questions.?

Police reports showed that Nesselroad-Slaby had left her little girl in the car before, while picking up and dropping off her older daughter at preschool ? one incident occurred a week before Cecilia died.

Nesselroad-Slaby was never charged with a criminal offense. ?She eventually went on to tell her story on Oprah. One year later, Jodie Edwards' daughter Jenna died under similar circumstances. ?Edwards was also not charged with a criminal offense. ?Both incidents were characterized as "tragic mistakes." Black mothers and other mothers of color, do not get the privilege of making such "tragic mistakes." Our struggles as parents and our human foibles are rarely viewed with compassion or understanding. ?The most basic decisions about how we choose to educate, feed and nurture our child are up for not only public debate as a mother of color, but also for persecution by the state. Lacy and far too many mothers of color are living proof of that fact.

*Hat tip to The Root.

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